Five Best Pickup Lines Heard At The Cancer Center

The Cancer Center isn't the ideal place to be hitting up on women, but if you do, here are the five best pick up lines you can use.

"You show me your port snd I'll show you mine!"

"Chemotherapy isn't the only thimg I do that lasts three hours!"

"What say we slide on down to the imaging department and let me see what you look like under those clothes!"

"That do wrap on your head screams out 'Let's do dinner!"

And, the number one pick up line heard at the cancer center:

"My white blood cell count is rising. Would you like to see where?"

Meter of Medicine

I wear a medicine meter for three days at the beginning of each cycle. Today I started my fourth, so I am almost s third of the way done. I used to not like wearing the meter, but after looking at it, I've changed my mind. As you can see in rhe picture, I've got this black strap visibly slung over my shoulder. Then, further down I've got this big lump under my shirt. So, it looks like I'm packing heat! Come on, punk, make my day!

First Side Effect Felt

Even though I had a rough week last week, much of it could be contributable to a very bad cold and/or antibiotics. Just now, though, I felt my first dide effect of chemo. Because of one of the medicines, I am not supposed to touch, eat, or drink anything colder than about room temperature because it will numb any area it touches. Reached in the fridge  just now, took out a jar of pickles, and my hand immediately started tingling like crazy. Weird!

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, that is why you'll see pink everywhere for the next month.  I've shown my support with changing the color scheme here this month to feature more pink.  Nearly every one has has known a loved one or suffered themselves with breast cancer.  Here's hoping they find a cure for this deadly disease.

Now that I have shown solidarity to the breast cancer movement, I will rant a little bit about what sort of  bugs me about it.  Again, please know that I am totally supportive of raising money of breast cancer awareness.  The purpose here is to be a little facetious and sarcastic for humor.

First, the proliferation of pink is taken almost a bit too far.  Its one thing to change a web sit color for a little while or wear a pink armband or bracelet to show your support.  Now, though, you can buy pink light bulbs for your house!  (Imagine pink light bulbs out on the porch at night.  Instead of the red light district, I guess you have the pink light district, where the girls will only go part of the way.)  Every Sunday, NFL teams will have players wearing pink cleats, gloves, and uniform patches.  Refs will throw pink penalty flags.  The excitement of October playoff baseball will get a dose of ridiculousness with certain players hitting with pink bats.  I get it!  I'm aware now!  I don't think the message is in danger of being lost because someone didn't wear pink.  I just pray never to see the guys from Duck Dynasty wearing pink camoflage or see Phil shooting ducks with a pink rifle.  Would I be surprised, though?  Nope.

Lt;s face it!  Breasts are beautiful (on women!)  So, when it comes to saving breasts, what a noble cause!  However, colon and rectal cancers are not near as pretty as breast cancer. So, what do we who suffer from colon or prostate cancer do to draw attention to our predicament?  We need our own color.

After much consideration and thought (about 8 seconds)  I propose brown.  Yeah, definitely not near as sexy as pink, but appropriate for the color of bowels.  People could dye their hair brown for a month, or wear brown shoes to work every day, or wear a brown patch on your underwear?  I can see that promotion!  "Skid Marks For Colon and Prostate Cancer Awareness!"

What do ya think?   .

Thank God For Lortab!

I won't lie, it has been a pretty bad last five or six days, so I'm not a big barrel of laughs right now. Since Saturday, my throat has been very sore, and sometimes it feels like someone has taken a torch to it. I have got some fairly strong throat lozenges that give some temporary relief, but the only thing that has made things bearable is Lortab, the pain killer. I understand why it is prescription only, since they can be addictive to some, but they work so well and are cheaper than any over the counter medication out there! Its a shame they are not more readily available.