Five More to Go!

After seven treatments, I'm holding in there as best I can. Starting my recovery week, so it should be ok.  Energy the last couple of days has been ok, but it took Thursday and Friday after treatment to get there. I was able to work all day Saturday. Hopefully, this upcoming week I'll vontinue to improve.

Thanksgiving

To be honest, the last week since I had my sixth treatment have been pretty tough, maybe as much mentally as physically. The side effects are kicking in, and sometimes the lack of control over my own body is frustrating. So, the dog days of chemo are here. (Bythe way, dogs grt a bad rap, I brlieve. Most dogs are pleasant and friendly so the phrase "dog days" doesn't quite fit . Now, most cats on the other hand are ornery and unpleasant, so I vote for changing the name to "cat days")

On this Thanksgiving, though, I give thanks to my family, friends, everyone who has giiven me a kind word or prayer. Also the doctors and nurses who have given me such great care. God bless you all.

New Side Effect - Yippie!

Ok, they said this might happen, and it looks like it has arrived. That is, a metallic taste in your mouth where you get slight indigestion, which I've had all day, and many foods lose some flavor. Hopefully I won't lose too much appetite.

Halfway There!

Six down, six to go. Kick this thing's ass, I'm ready to go!

No Shave November

In my honor, all the guys at work are particupating in "No Shave November". So, there are some fresh beards growing this month! It is to raise awareness of men's cancers. Thanks, guys!

Brutally Honest post

Warning - this post may contain subject matter of a offensive naure to some. However, I told you dear readers that I would blog about my journey, and I wouldn't be completely honest otherwise if I didn't share this.

The truth is, diarrhea is a constant companion. If I don't hit the bathroom at least  four times a day it is unusual. There is a great line by Morgan Freeman in the movie "The Bucket List" when he talks about getting old. And, it applies to chemo treatments also. The line was "Never trust a fart!". That has become my daily motto. Its hard to tell whether you are safe or break and run for the toilet.

Also, there is no sneaking a fart anymore. Chemo kills cells, so passing gas will slay the room and peel paint off the walls! It is the smell of death! If you are unlucky enough to let one go on an elevator, the passengers may suffocate before the ground floor!

This has been a big source of embarrasment for me, and I am actually leary of crowds. This side effect csnnot be helped, but others don't know that. It does take a lot of understanding from friends and family, though.

There, I told you this post would be brutally honest. But, as I said, it has become a part of daily life.

Five Best Pickup Lines Heard At The Cancer Center

The Cancer Center isn't the ideal place to be hitting up on women, but if you do, here are the five best pick up lines you can use.

"You show me your port snd I'll show you mine!"

"Chemotherapy isn't the only thimg I do that lasts three hours!"

"What say we slide on down to the imaging department and let me see what you look like under those clothes!"

"That do wrap on your head screams out 'Let's do dinner!"

And, the number one pick up line heard at the cancer center:

"My white blood cell count is rising. Would you like to see where?"

Meter of Medicine

I wear a medicine meter for three days at the beginning of each cycle. Today I started my fourth, so I am almost s third of the way done. I used to not like wearing the meter, but after looking at it, I've changed my mind. As you can see in rhe picture, I've got this black strap visibly slung over my shoulder. Then, further down I've got this big lump under my shirt. So, it looks like I'm packing heat! Come on, punk, make my day!

First Side Effect Felt

Even though I had a rough week last week, much of it could be contributable to a very bad cold and/or antibiotics. Just now, though, I felt my first dide effect of chemo. Because of one of the medicines, I am not supposed to touch, eat, or drink anything colder than about room temperature because it will numb any area it touches. Reached in the fridge  just now, took out a jar of pickles, and my hand immediately started tingling like crazy. Weird!

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, that is why you'll see pink everywhere for the next month.  I've shown my support with changing the color scheme here this month to feature more pink.  Nearly every one has has known a loved one or suffered themselves with breast cancer.  Here's hoping they find a cure for this deadly disease.

Now that I have shown solidarity to the breast cancer movement, I will rant a little bit about what sort of  bugs me about it.  Again, please know that I am totally supportive of raising money of breast cancer awareness.  The purpose here is to be a little facetious and sarcastic for humor.

First, the proliferation of pink is taken almost a bit too far.  Its one thing to change a web sit color for a little while or wear a pink armband or bracelet to show your support.  Now, though, you can buy pink light bulbs for your house!  (Imagine pink light bulbs out on the porch at night.  Instead of the red light district, I guess you have the pink light district, where the girls will only go part of the way.)  Every Sunday, NFL teams will have players wearing pink cleats, gloves, and uniform patches.  Refs will throw pink penalty flags.  The excitement of October playoff baseball will get a dose of ridiculousness with certain players hitting with pink bats.  I get it!  I'm aware now!  I don't think the message is in danger of being lost because someone didn't wear pink.  I just pray never to see the guys from Duck Dynasty wearing pink camoflage or see Phil shooting ducks with a pink rifle.  Would I be surprised, though?  Nope.

Lt;s face it!  Breasts are beautiful (on women!)  So, when it comes to saving breasts, what a noble cause!  However, colon and rectal cancers are not near as pretty as breast cancer. So, what do we who suffer from colon or prostate cancer do to draw attention to our predicament?  We need our own color.

After much consideration and thought (about 8 seconds)  I propose brown.  Yeah, definitely not near as sexy as pink, but appropriate for the color of bowels.  People could dye their hair brown for a month, or wear brown shoes to work every day, or wear a brown patch on your underwear?  I can see that promotion!  "Skid Marks For Colon and Prostate Cancer Awareness!"

What do ya think?   .

Thank God For Lortab!

I won't lie, it has been a pretty bad last five or six days, so I'm not a big barrel of laughs right now. Since Saturday, my throat has been very sore, and sometimes it feels like someone has taken a torch to it. I have got some fairly strong throat lozenges that give some temporary relief, but the only thing that has made things bearable is Lortab, the pain killer. I understand why it is prescription only, since they can be addictive to some, but they work so well and are cheaper than any over the counter medication out there! Its a shame they are not more readily available.

Rough Few Days

My wife and daughter have been sick with severe colds for a week or so, and I was good until a few days ago, when I came down with one. Mainly coughing, mucus, and now a sore throat has worked its way into the mix. I missed a day and a half of work and somehow managed to stay the whole day at work yesterday, but was exhausted by quitting time, so this weekend will find me resting as much as possible.

Round Two Under Way

Round two of 12 chemo treatments is nearly in the books( or veins, if you will).  And, aside from a cough that may or may not be related to the chemo, I feel really good.  Everything is holding up very well so far.

The length of the chemo treatments, three hours one day, two hours the next, has not been a problem. I figured I would be bored to tears, but the time passes by fairly quickly.  Plus, they have a pick of several snacks, juices, even Ensure all for free. How cool is that? Clearview Cancer Institute almost makes treatments (dare I say) fun.

I wear my meter that is attached to my port over my shoulder and under a button-up shirt, so I can hide it well. At night, I have to sleep with it just to the side of my pillow, but it is easy to get used to. This second time around with the meter has been a little better on me psychologically also. The first time, it almost felt tied down to things, like I was a prisoner for three days. Sometimes it became tempting to just tearing the needle out of my chest and being freed. This time, though, I haven't been as claustrophobic feeling.

Tomorrow is simply getting disconnected from my meter and getting the gigantic shot that is supposed to help keep my blood count up. After that, I'll see how I feel. All things cosidered, though, I am very optimistic.

Cruel and Unusual

I had a quick follow-up appointment with my surgeon today.  A few minutes is all it took, and I was good to go.  My daughter went with me, as she hadn't had anything going today, so we spent a little quality time together as she rode down to Huntsville with me.  Now, I can't remember if I mentioned this before in another post, but one of the chemo medicines interacts with anything cold.  Thus, no ice cream, slushes, very refrigerated drinks, or, my and my daughter's favorite, a Starbucks Frappucino until after chemo ends!

After my daughter gets her traditional cafe mocha frappucino and I order a salt caramel latte (hot), I make the casual remark that I wish they had something blueberry or raspberry flavored.  Having spent four years in California while going to college, obviously my daughter has a master's degree in Starbucks and proceeds to inform me that Starbucks has a secret menu only available on their web site!  Maybe this is old news to some of you mocha aficionados, but I had never heard of this!  Why wasn't it on their menu?  That would be like me having a "secret motorcycle" for sale, but you could only see it on our web site, not on our showroom!

Anyway, she gets my phone, goes to the Starbucks web site, and for fifteen minutes names off eight pages or so worth of frappucinos not listed on the menu, but that are available to order. And some of them sounded extremely good!  So, I'm going, "Wow!  Maybe next time I'll try that chocalate covered strawberry...wait just a second!  I can't have any frappucinos until MARCH!"  This, of course, struck my daughter as hilarious, and I'm teasing her about only naming all this stuff off to tease me.  Cruel and unusual punishment!  :-)

However, there was one Starbucks secret drink that was hot that really appealed to me, especially if I ever need an instant pick-me-up.  It's called "Liquid Cocaine"!  Four shots of espresso in that baby!  Whooooooo!  Sometime when I need to stay awake for about 41 hours, that will be my drink of choice!

After Five Days

So far, things have been going almost too well, of course, this week was just the first of twelve treatments, and it is bound to get worse, possibly much worse, but so far I have had no side effects, except for drowsiness from the Zyrtec they recommend taking. I have not had fever, chills, nausea, diarrhea, constipation, change of taste, or flesh-eating termites. Again, it could all change   tomorrow, but I am hopeful I will continue to feel fairly normal. I may have the start of a mouth sore, but I'll have to see how it develops. I honestly believe there is no way I could be doing as well as I am without so many people praying for me! Even people I do not know personally have been praying for me. My wife and daughter had a healing Mass for me, and my wife's pen pal from Alaska has also scheduled a healing Mass! I can never thank people enough for even the smallest kind thought or well wish for me. God is great, and so is His people!

Gentlemen, Start Your Chemo!

First chemo treatment was today, and so far I feel perfect - well, as perfect as you can be with a needle in your chest, and a line going down to a portable meter strapped around your waist. Other than that, though, so far so good.  The meter keeps wanting to fall down around my ankles when I walk, even when I think I've tightened the strap. I have to walk bow legged just to keep it up. Now I know why the gunslingers in the west walked like that! 

Everything went very smooth in the treatment room. I was in a recliner, so I just laid back, took a nap, had a few snacks, and read.  Before I knew it, three hours were up! Tomorrow is another two hour treatment, so we'll see how I feel after that. At least now I know kind of what to expect in the treatment room.

Chemo's Eve

Tomorrow is the big day! A big thank you to my wife and daughter for correcting me about my appointment time. I thought it was at 1:20, but they knew it was at 11:00! If not for them, I would have come sauntering into the doctor's office a couple of hours late. The nurses stares could pierce my skin better than any needle if that happened!

My daughter's best friend's mother called earlier today to ask about me, but I missed the call. She underwent six rounds of chemo last year, so I will call her later tonight and get some advice as to what to expect.

The great thing about getting cancer, going through surgery and chemo treatments is finding out how many people care about you and are praying for you, some that you may know only in a nominal way. It really is incredible, like having an invisible army supporting you. It is human nature when you have a disease such as cancer, heart disease and such to get down and question "why" on occasion. Just know that God has not forgotten you, and neither have numerous others.

Well, getting to bed early tonight, and getting my reading material ready. Wanting to get the anticipation over and getstarted! 

Really Incredible, True Story - Please Read

Really neat and true story!

I sold a Polaris Ranger this morning to a customer, and as I was at his truck helping him load up his machine, he turned to me and said, "By the way, do you mind if I pray for you?" A little perplexed, I said, "Of course that would be o.k." Then this man, whom I had never met before he walked into the shop this morning, said, "When you walked by a while ago, God asked me to pray for you and showed me this area right here (pointing to my lower abdominal region) is messed up." It was the exact same place where they removes the cancerous blockage from my colon during my surgery! Again, I had never met him before today, and had not mentioned anything to him about cancer, chemo, anything like that. Of course, I believe God gives some people gifts such as these, but when it happened to me, I got chill bumps!

Up the Irons!

This post may be a little off-topic, as it has nothing directly to do with my cancer, except for the fact that I put off my first chemo treatment until after the Iron Maiden concert.  I was afraid that if I had started my treatments, possibly I might be too tired or too sick at my stomach or something to go and enjoy the show.  After all, I have been waiting 28 years to see Iron Maiden live again.  So, last night me and my daughter went to the Bridgestone Arena in Nashville to take in the concert.  The verdict?  I have no regrets whatsoever about putting my chemo treatment off!  I was a rocking, headbanging, fist-pumping, drooling, screaming, sweating teen again last night!  Yes, this morning, I feel like I'm about 70; sore, deaf, and can't speak.  But last night was absolutely euphoric.  We stood the whole time Maiden was on stage, which was about an hour and forty five minutes, so if I had started my chemo treatments last week, I don't think I could have probably done it.  Now I am at peace with starting them this upcoming week.  T - 3 days and counting!

T - 7 and counting

Chemo treatments starting in a week. Three hours sitting in a chair in the clinic. At home, three hours sitting in a chair usually mean a movie or two, snacks, and possibly a nap. Somehow I think things won't be quite the same. Any good ideas about how to pass the time? Without getting arrested I mean?

You Might Be A Cancer Patient If...

You might be a cancer patient if...

You make more trips to the doctor than the grocery store every week!

You scold your cat for shedding hair all over the sofa, then realize - its YOUR hair!

Waiting in line an hour for a ride at an amusement park is a breeze compared to the three hours you wait while doing a chemo treatment!

 You've had your blood drawn so many times, you draw a red dot on your favorite arm vein so you can tell the lab tech to just "stick 'er there!"

If I told you I had an appointment with my guy oncologist, you would know I was seeing a male cancer doctor and not an OB/GYN!

 

Dr Appointment Today

Saw Dr. Waples today to solidify the stsrt date for my chemo treatments, which will begin on September 9. Now that the date has been set, I feel pretty good.  Now i've got something to look forward to. What, am I nuts? Who looks forward to chemo?! I don't mean it in the way of anticipating a pleasant event, like a concert or party, but it is something concrete in my treatment, a known in a sea of unknowns, so I can grasp on to it. It is a starting point. "Follow the chemo brick road!"

Yes, I am a little apprehensive, a little nervous, but I am ready. My Monday session will be three hours, then I will be sent home with a meter to cuddle up and sleep with. Then I will come back Tuesday for a two hour session, and Wednesday I come back and they disconnect the meter. I know, I know...your heart is about to explode with excitement! All I know is I had better be bringing plenty of good reading material! After all, what can be more fun than sitting still in a room for that long?

Patron Saint of Those With Cancer

Below are a couple of prayers to St. Peregrine, patron saint of cancer sufferers. A big thank you to Richard Paladino for bringing me aware of this saint!

Are you suffering from cancer? Or do you know someone who is? These prayers to St. Peregrine can give you hope! This first one is for those afflicted with this deadly disease:

St. Peregrine, whom Holy Mother Church has declared Patron of those suffering from Cancer, I confidently turn to you for help in my present sickness. I beg your kind intercession. Ask God to relieve me of this sickness, if it be his Holy Will. Plead with the Blessed Virgin Mary, the Mother of Sorrows, whom you loved so tenderly and in union with whom you have suffered the pains of Cancer, that she may help me with her powerful prayers and loving consolation.

But if it should be God’s Holy Will that I bear this sickness, obtain for me courage and strength to accept these trails from the loving hand of God with patience and resignation, because he knows what is best for the salvation of my soul. St. Peregrine, be my friend and patron. Help me to imitate you in accepting suffering, and to unite myself with Jesus Crucified and the Mother of Sorrows, as you did. I offer my pains to God with all the love of my heart, for his glory and the salvation of souls, especially my own. Amen.

The second of these prayers to St. Peregrine is for others’ intentions.

O great St. Peregrine, you have been called "The Mighty," "The Wonder-Worker," because of the numerous miracles which you have obtained from God for those who have had recourse to you. For so many years you bore in your own flesh this cancerous disease that destroys the very fiber of our being, and who had recourse to the source of all grace when the power of man could do no more. You were favored with the vision of Jesus coming down from His Cross to heal your affliction. Ask of God and Our Lady, the cure of the sick whom we entrust to you. (Pause here and silently recall the names of the sick for whom you are praying) Aided in this way by your powerful intercession, we shall sing to God, now and for all eternity, a song of gratitude for His great goodness and mercy. Amen.

St. Peregrine is known as the patron saint of cancer patients, AIDS victims and others suffering from serious illnesses. These two prayers give us an intriguing glimpse into his life’s story. Peregrine Laziosi was born in 1260 in Forli, Italy to a wealthy family. Although he was a member of an anti-papal party as a young man, he experienced a profound change of heart, much like St. Paul’s conversion in its intensity.

He and some companions showed up one day to heckle and otherwise abuse St. Philip Benizi, the Prior General of the Servants of Mary, who was preaching in Forli. Peregrine went so far as to strike him in the face! St. Philip, seemingly following our Lord’s advice in scripture (Matt 5:39, Luke6:29), offered his other cheek in response.

This gesture so moved Peregrine that he quickly asked for Philip’s forgiveness and soon thereafter converted to Catholicism, spending much time in prayer at the Chapel of Our Lady at the Cathedral. Mary appeared to him there in a vision asking him to join the Servite Order in Siena. He was received there by St. Philip!

Peregrine spent the rest of his life ministering to the poor and the sick, mainly in his hometown of Forli where he established a new house for the Servites. His dedication to the faith was such that, according to tradition, he would stand constantly instead of sitting down, as a form of penance.

He underwent a severe trial when he developed a cancerous sore on his leg (as we see in depictions of him such as the one above) as well as his feet. Doctors decided upon amputation as treatment.

The night before the operation, Peregrine spent the night in prayer before a crucifix in a hospital chapel. He dreamt at one point there that Christ came down from the cross and healed his leg. When he woke up, he and his doctors, made the joyful discovery that he was completely cured. God had truly performed a miracle on this holy man!

Peregrine himself performed numerous miracles in his life. After his death in 1345, there were countless others, especially in Spain. The Church attributed to him more than 300 cures of cancer and other illnesses from 1694 to 1726 in one city there alone!

It’s no wonder that as we read in the opening of the second of our two prayers to St. Peregrine, many Catholics refer to him as the “mighty” and the “wonder-worker!” He was canonized by Pope Benedict XIII in 1726.

Although there are an increasing number of cancer survivors, there is still no cure for this disease. Prayer is always needed in the fight against cancer, along with research and education, such as that provided by the American Cancer Society. 

We hope the prayers to St. Peregrine above, along with others here, can bring you comfort and strength from our Lord. He Himself, like St. Peregrine, as we are reminded in these prayers, was no stranger to suffering!

To Start or Not To Start

I have an appointment with my oncologist this Monday, and I can start my chemo treatments then. On the other hand, it will not hurt to put it off two weeks, so I am torn as to whether I should wait. Why, because I am nervous about starting? No, because I want to rock!

Before this chemo business came up, I bought concert tickets to see Iron Maiden in Nashville. UP THE IRONS! I have been waiting 28 years to be able to see them again. Even if I have to be in the back of an ambulance and have them pull up to the stage, I am going to go and have a good time! The only concern is, with the concert being 11 days after my first treatment (if I were to start Monday), will I be too wiped out to really enjoy the headbanging to the fullest. If I put the first treatment off for two weeks, until after the concert, it will be in December before my treatments are done, as opppsed to around Turkey Day if I start them soon. So, to start or not to start, that is the question.

Update: on the side of caution, I have decided to start my chemo in two weeks, after the concert. You"ve got to have priorities, and seeing Iron Maiden is on my bucket list. So, if my cancer comes back someday and I kick the bucket, I will have one less item on the list.

I Apologize

After reading the last two entries, I must apologize. They are almost completely void of jokes or humor. So, without further ado:

Q:  what do you get when you cross a country music singer with a Star Wars character?

A: GARTH VADER!

Thank you! Now we return you to our regularly scheduled post.

Life Changer

When told you have cancer, or even that you had cancer removed as was my case, it changes your life.  You become a member of a club that unfortunately is all too populous, but suddenly you can relate all too real with someone else who is fighting cancer. Its a wide family.

Even when I didn't think I had cancer, in the back of my mind I guess I was preparing myself for the worst. So, when told the diagnosis, I accepted it as well as could be expected. I had prayed that no matter what, I would leave it in God's hands, and that is still my view. I think of a lyric from one of my favorite Dream Theater songs..."If I die tomorrow, I'd be alright because I believe that after we're gone, the spirit carries on".

About a year ago, i went through about a one month period of severe depression. I have no idea what brought it on, but I would never had made it through without love and support from family and friends. It was by far the worst period of time in my life. And, while the diagnosis of cancer is certainly not a good thing, I believe that God put me through that trial last year to prepare me for any future bad news, because I had gone through Hell for a while and turned out ok again in the end. I honestly believe that this has been the reason I have been able to take things as well as I have so far.

Granted, things have not been all roses. I have had my moments of questions, doubts, and fear. The first time I walked into Clearview Cancer Institute, it was very surreal, and all I could think about was that I was now a cancer patient. But, through daily prayer, support from family and friends have lifted me up. I love you all! 

On With the Story

Convinced that I did not have cancer, I looked forward to getting the surgery done so that I could get back to normal. Not having any kind of surgical procedure since I was 17 months old, I was sort of curious to see what the operating room looked like. After the anesthesia, I had no idea! I was down for the count. Funny, though, when I was wheeled in a month later to get my port-a-cath put in, it came back to me like deja vu. 

They were to remove about one foot of my colon and still leave about four feet. And fortunately it was done by lathroscope, so I only had a few small holes and small cut to deal with.  The surgery was to take about two hours. Well, you know the phrase, "the best laid plans..." They removed the main blockage, but they found another mass on the other side of my colon, and removed my appendix (so I no longer have any reference material in me!). So, the two hour surgery turned into five hours, and they took out three feet of my colon instead of just one. I certainly made Dr. Golzarian work for his money!

I spent four days in the hospital recovering. I must say that my care was first rate by the nurses and staff at Huntsville Hospital. No matter how strong you may think you are, in the hospital you are dependent on others, and I am grateful for all the workers.

The day I went home, though, Dr. Golzarian came in and told me that the blockage they removed was cancerous. So, in the matter of a short period of time, I went from having a blockage removed to cancer patient, just like that.

Going For Scan Today

I'm getting ready to go get either a CAT scan or PET scan, not sure which. Personally, not being a cat lover, I hope its a PET scan so I can imagine whatever animal I want. Since I am a dog lover, I almost always go to my favorite place there, the LAB!

Well, it turned out to be a CAT scan after all. Maybe that's why suddenly I have a craving for tuna! Things went easily enough. I had very little wait time, snd the scan only took about 10 minutes. By far the worst part was drinking the two bottles of contrasting stuff beforehand. Awful! It made Milk of Magnesia taste like fine wine!

Cancer? What cancer?

Dr. Golzarian had floated the first inkling that I may not have cancer. Then, the following Monday, Dr. Ferrante called and said all tests and biopsies were negative, so he suggested much the same as Dr. Golzarian, that the blockage was not cancer, but possibly scarring from severe diverticulitis. That cemented things in my mind. I was not a cancer patient, but a man with diverticulitis. Yeah, Baby!  I was so excited that it looked non-cancerous that in honor of Dr. Ferrante I went to the ice rink, rented some skates, and body-checked a figure skater into the boards!  The blockage  had to be removed anyway, though, so i scheduled the surgery for Mid July. Everyone has about 5 feet of colon. They were going to take out a foot of it and I.'d be all set! No problem!

Wierd Scar

I took off the bandage where they had inserted my port-a-cath to see what it looked like.  I knew there would be a scar, but not one quite like this!

Colonoscopy Take Two and Three

Back to the history of how I got to where I'm at now, awaiting chemo treatments.  After the disaster of the first colonoscopy try, Dr. Ferrante gave me some prep that was much less harsh on the stomach and didn't have to drink near as much to work.  Well, maybe that was true for most people.  Again, clear liquids the day before the procedure, and more broth and clear jello for meals.  I take the prep late that afternoon, get dressed again in my track shoes and get ready for the rush to the restroom.  Nothing happened immediately, so I didn't get very concerned.  However, after watching a movie, a baseball game, and only going to pee about six times, I slowly began to realize that I wasn't having the colonoscopy the next day either.  STEEEEERRRIIIKKKEEE TWO!  The next morning, I called and Dr. Ferrante told me not to even bother, there was no way it was happening.  I could tell he was almost as frustrated as I was, either that or someone else was beating their head against his office wall.  He said he would think about what to do next, then call me back.

The solution was for a two-day prep.  Nothing but clear liquids for TWO days (meanwhile my wife and daughter eat Olive Garden while moi?  You guessed it - more damn chicken broth!  My temper was really running on a short fuse.  Lo and behold, though, the two different days of prep did the trick and I was finally able to get the colonoscopy done.  I showed up to get it done, and all the nurses were saying, "This is your third time getting prepped  in a month's time?  Aww, you poor thing!"  I just put on my "pitiful me" face and enjoyed the attention.  When I woke up from the procedure, the news wasn't good.  Dr. Ferrante could only get the scope a little ways in before it was blocked.  "I've seen it several times before," he said.  "Its got to be a cancerous blockage".  So, he got me an appointment to see Dr. Javad Golzarian, a surgeon, a few days hence.  Dr. Golzarian gave me the glimmer of hope that I did not have cancer, but possibly severe diverticulitis.  At least, it was possible.  And since this situation would be better than cancer, I held on to it and accepted it as gospel.  I was not ready for that just yet.

Port-A-Cath Put in Yesterdsy

I arrived at Huntsville Hospital yesterday at noon to get my port-a-cath inserted in preparation for chemo. It is a small device, similar to an IV, except that it is in my upper chest and lies hidden under the scars- I mean skin. That way, when they do chemo treatments, they stick them in there instead of sticking me in a different place every time. The name port-a-cath, to me, sounds like something you should be able to pick up at the hardware store or something to fix your bathroom with, not an important tool in cancer treatment.  I was 44 when I arrived at the hospital to have it done, and was 48 when they finally started the procedure! When they finally got me in the O.R., though, everything was ok. I was still awake during the first couple of minutes, but the drugs soon made me very comfortable.   I heard one of the surgeon leaders saying, "we have Mr. Heath Jacks here ". It was just the way he said it, it made me feel very important. I was wanting to jump up from the table and take a bow! The procedure, though, was quick and painless , thank God! I could never have lasted a day in the age before the modern convenience of anesthesia.

Dude, where's My Hair?

I was born with lots of hair. My hair is the one physical trait I've always been sort of proud of. But, given the possibility of losing a bunch of it or all of it during my chemo treatments, I got a head start(get it? HEAD start?) and got a buzz cut today! Here is before and after pics.

So, what do you think?

Colonoscopy - Take One!

Everyone I talked to about a colonoscopy said, "The night before the procedure is the worst!" For the most part, they were right. however, please allow me to be truly serious here for a minute, but DO NOT allow fear to keep you from getting your colon checked! They can often find pre-cancerous polyps and take them out long before they cause trouble..

Anyway,  the day I visited with Dr. Ferrante, my digestive system threw me another curve.  So far my stomach would start hurting after feeling ok after about a week, I would not be able to have a bowel movement for several days (usually at least a week) and then a couple of days of diarrhea (excuse the potty mouth). This day, though, I began to throw up. AAAARGH! (That is either a sound of frustration or a sound effect for what I was doing. Take your pick.) Now to be truthful in my confession, it had been ten years since my last upchuck, after getting too cozy with orange soda and vodka, and I had not missed it a bit. But, now it came back like a long-lost fiend.

I became an over the counter meds junkie. For the nausea, I would buy anti-heartburn stuff and Tums and take at least twice the recommended dosage.  For constipation, I tried Ex Lax a few times, and instead of taking the recommended two squares, I ate six. I would drink a half bottle of Milk of Magnesia at a time, when just a capful was needed. I really can't say that any of this succeeded at anything except making my wallet lighter. That, and  started having real cravings for eating chalk after the Tums tablets and Milk of Magnesia.

The day before my colonoscopy, I was anxious to get going (literally!). Nothing but clear liquids the whole day, which to me was as hard as anything. A whole day of broth to look forward to - YUMMY! Chicken or vegetable broth, which to choose? (Sarcasm hopefully showing through).  Then it came time  to start the clean out. They had given me the most common prep called Moviprep. It sounds like you should be ready to sit down and watch a show and snack on some popcorn, not chugging a half gallon of swill that tastes like a cross between plastic and lemonade. The rough thing is, you have to drink that half gallon twice, once at 5:00 pm and once at 10:00 pm!

Not knowing what to expect, I took the first few sips and expected to make a mad rush to the bathroom. Nothing. A few more sips, and I wss lined up in sneakers snd running shorts ready for the dash to begin. Stll nothing! After the whole first half gallon, I had managed to go one time, and that was all. In the meantime, my stomach was feeling so bloated from all the liquid, I thought about sticking a needle through my navel to see if my belly would pop like a water balloon! About 9:00 pm, an hour before time to swig the other half gallon, I started throwing up and my stomach was cramping terribly. I called the doctor on call and he said to wait until early morning to take the second dose. The problem? I was supposed to be cleaned out in about 12 hours and things had not even begun in earnest (or me)!

Determined, I napped until 4 am, when my stomach was not hurting and started in on the final half gallon of Moviprep. This time, things started moving fairly well, but I only had six hours until my colonoscopy. In the morning, I called Dr. Ferrante's office, described what had happened, and we decided to give it a go so all that prep wouldn't be in vain. In the  end, it was in vain. I showed up, they started the IV, they put me to sleep, and the next thing I was aware of was  Dr. Ferrante saying we had to schedule another try, I was not near cleaned out as I needed. Then, he slapped me on the backdide with a hockey stick and sent me home.

Heath, We Have A Problem!

Everyone's walk with cancer is different, and your experience may be vastly different, but here is how mine began. By the way, doesn't "my walk with cancer" or "my cancer journey" sound so charming and unassuming? Like we're a couple of old friends, out for a leisurely Sunday stroll, exchanging stories about the kids?

Anyway, toward the end of February this year, after eating some fish at Long John Silver's, I got a terrible bloated feeling, and my stomach started cramping badly. For three days it hurt to even walk straight up and I couldn't eat a bite. I simply attributed it to a bad piece of fish or something.  After that subsided, a little over a week later the same pain and bloating started again after eating pizza (okay, you health nuts, no lecturing me on my diet, or rather lack of one!).

This time, the pains were almost constant and i was praying that I would either have a bowel movement or throw up, anything to bring relief.   But, no dice! (And wouldn't THAT have been strange, throwing up dice!) Unfortunately, nothing else came out either. Finally, toward the end of March, the stomach pains were so sharp and constant I checked myself into the ER.

My local ER doctor checked me out and had me transported to Huntsville Hospital for further tests and observation. After x-rays, cat scans, and an ultrasound (oh no, was I pregnant?!), i was released after a few days with no drugs, a clean bill of health, and a diagnosis of " colitis of the colon".

Translation: "we didn't see anything obvious, we really don't know what the hell is wrong with you, it must be some kind of general inflammation. Good luck!"

I went home, bowels had moved while in the hospital, and I thought that I was back in good shape - for about a little over a week and everything was hurting again. That's when my general doctor sent me to a GI specialist (gastroenterologist, I was to learn. The first time he said I was seeing a GI specialist, I was thinking, "how in the heck is an army recruiter going to help?").

He recommended me to Dr. Dino Ferrante. How cool of a name is that?!

Doing some research on Dr. Ferrante, one thing I learned was that he moved to Alabama from somewhere up north to play hockey for the UAH Chargers, who had a very good team. I think I would have gotten the hint he was a hockey guy when he wore a goalie mask instead of a surgeon's mask. Anyway, after hearing about what was happening with me, he threw out the first "C" word that struck me with terror - "COLONOSCOPY!"

Introduction

"The C Word".  "The Big C".  All nicknames for that word that strikes fear into the hearts of men and women everywhere, COOKING!  Ok, just kidding.  It's CANCER!  I say it just like that, in big capital letters, with this evil sounding laugh...CANCER!  Of course, you knew what word I was referring to, after all its in the name of the blog.  But, the lighter side?  Now, you must think that I am being awfully insensitive or am guilty of being the other C word - CRAZY!

The truth is, I have recently come through surgery where they diagnosed me as having the double C - Colon Cancer (By the way, what kind of cancer did the American Indians get in the days of the first settlers?  COLONY CANCER!).  While the operation was a success (More details to come in a later post), the blockage was so large that I will have to have CHEMO treatments (Can the cure be worse than the disease?  In the case of chemotherapy, it bears considering!).  That starts in a few weeks time from now.  However, I decided to start this blog to journal my journey with the disease.  And, being a former stand-up comedian, I write a lot of things in a bit more whimsical way.  After all, with a diagnosis of cancer, you can choose to get down and depressed (and I do not blame anyone for that!), or you can choose to face things as they come with a positive, light-hearted attitude.  This is the approach I am trying to take here, and hopefully I can help someone else who is down about their suffering realize that even with cancer, you can still smile.